Observations

It appears that, at least initially, I’m going to be doing quite a bit of comparing my first Russia experience with my second. Mostly it is just fascinating for me to see how my perspective has changed in three years and how I’ve grown up since then. I hope that such observations will also be of interest to you, because they’re going to show up in this blog.

When I arrived in St. Petersburg in 2005, everyone I saw around me was Russian. Their faces were Russian, their hairstyles and clothes were Russian, and their shoes were definitely Russian. By comparison I felt painfully American—or at least foreign. Even by the end of the program in May, when I had gotten pretty good at stringing Russian words together into a sentence, I was sure that anyone could peg me right away as a foreigner based on how I looked. I didn’t have the right shoes or clothes, and I’m proud to be mullet-free since 1984. The feeling of always being foreign is a really uncomfortable position to be in when you live somewhere. If you’re just being a tourist, it’s not so bad – you know you’re only going to be somewhere a few days, and the locals don’t expect you to blend in completely. So even though I didn’t even want to leave in May of 2006 because I’d gotten so comfortable in Piter, I had (and have) great friends here, and my language gains were coming along strong, nevertheless, the feeling of being foreign never completely left me.

I’ve only been in Piter a few days, but already I have a much different outlook on the people around me. I look around me now and I see people – just plain old people. Some of them are Russian, but many are Caucasian, Central Asian, Tatar, Korean, and even American. The mullets still abound, as do interesting clothes combinations and impossibly tall spike heels, but for some reason this no longer screams RUSSIAN!!! to me. Part of this shift in attitude, I’m sure, is that I had a much better idea of what to expect this time around, and I did come more prepared to blend in (I’ve been sporting pointy shoes [and have the blisters to prove it], makeup, and my shiny silver purse). Part of it is having prior knowledge of the best way to react in various situations – although in some cases I’ve needed reminding. Part of it is already having the ability to understand most of what comes out of people’s mouths. But it’s more than just how I dress or interact with people – I could be doing all of that “right” and still have that feeling of foreignness.

I think the difference this time around is in my goals: this year, I am committed to becoming a part of Petersburg. This is my city too, and it no longer matters where I’m from initially. So what if people know I’m an American? That doesn’t change the fact that I’m here to be a part of Piter for 9 months. Sure, I’m not trying to stick out, but I no longer walk around feeling like there’s a great neon arrow pointing at me with the word “American” flashing in red, white, and blue. I am just one of many people sticking it out in this great northern city.